Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
How's work?
Spinning.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize