everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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