I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize