And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i've created a new STD.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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