her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
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bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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