So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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