You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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