I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
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And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
don't judge my taste in strippers
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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