I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
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His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
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you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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