Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
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I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
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My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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