Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
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I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
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Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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