Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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