we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
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We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
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I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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