did you get engaged???
I want to make a zoo with you.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
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Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
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Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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