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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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