Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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