I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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