I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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