Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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