Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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