You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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