btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
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I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
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You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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