I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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