Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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