I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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