So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
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I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
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Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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