any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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