yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize