so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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