Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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