I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
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I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
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That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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