I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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