Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize