I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize