So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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