Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
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We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
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We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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