I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize