Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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