You just made me feel so damn special
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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