It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize