Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
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