I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
it's great music for shaving your balls
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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