There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So drunk its hurt
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize