i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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