Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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