oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
it's not cheating when I paid for it
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
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Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
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I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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