It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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