I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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