I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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