i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize